Confronting My Sanity, My Religion, and My Innocence

(or rather, the loss of all 3)

If you had asked me 10 years ago, ‘where would you be in 10 years’, I never would have thought it’d involve me developing a website dedicated to exposing corruption and preaching about Love and Forgiveness, and speaking about Jesus Christ.

I was off in my own blissful bubble; appreciating the life around me, raising my child, enjoying my job, delving into my hobbies – not a care in the world.

I was happy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still appreciate my life. I feel happiness during certain times. I enjoy those little moments that we shouldn’t take advantage of but some do anyway.

But there is a stark difference between how I used to fall asleep at night – with what used to be a peaceful slight small smile on my lips, to praying every single night for Jesus Christ to return, sometimes crying myself to sleep.

Recently I’ve had to confront the fact that my life is not the way it used to be before. Not just from a normal part of aging, or growing up, or experience… but from the realization that everything I once thought was real/true, may not be true after all. And the fact that my eyes have been opened into seeing all of the atrocities going on in the world, and it has forced me to come to terms that I need to question everything – even things that were so deeply ingrained in me, but now I realize that it may be at the heart of the matter after all.

Questioning my sanity

As I go deep into some of these rabbit holes – CIA’s Operation Mockingbird, the vaccine/pharma agenda, religion vs. atheism vs. spirituality, freemasons/illuminati, Bilderberg group, the Holocaust, the “great reset”, nwo, etc., etc., etc., it’s made me address the very real possibility that most of what I “KNOW”, is merely all lies and falsehoods.

With a governmental agenda to literally get all Americans to believe that everything is a lie, how do we know, FOR SURE, what is real and what is propagandized?

Whether it’s due to hyper-paranoidism, or perhaps just a better understanding now of how “the world” works, I have come to the point where I actually don’t know what to believe anymore, and I doubt that most of what we are taught through history, in schools, etc. is true. I have come to the point where I honestly think that most of our lives is built on lies – ESPECIALLY when it comes to the government, religion, economics, wars, education…

As I have dug deeper into several institutions and what I DO believe is our actual history, there is only one thing really that connects everything.

And that’s our origins, our beginnings, our belief systems, religion, spirituality, the idea of a God or several gods. This is, as it seems, the core of all of our struggles today.

We may not realize it. In fact, I think billions of people DON’T realize it. They are still in the blissful, and/or unacknowledged matrix that I found myself in 10 years ago. They may know, instinctively, that something is wrong. But they can’t put their finger on it and they dismiss this feeling as an uncomfortable sensation that is better to just tune out than to confront it.

But due to certain circumstances that was actually out of my control, I ended up choosing to confront this uncomfortable awareness. Or rather, I was FORCED to do it.

Thus it led me on a downward spiral that revealed what may be the truth of the matter after all. And as such, my mind has a hard time comprehending it all and sometimes I even question myself on what if everything I’m researching is false. What if my own thoughts is false and I’m feeding into the misinformation campaign? I have actually been GASLIGHTING myself that what I am now coming to believe may not be true after all.

I think it’s an attempt at trying to rationalize all of this information away. What if I’M the one being misled and the world isn’t the way I have come to understand it? But I know that this is just a cop-out and a way of trying to lead me back “into the world”.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the source of our problems.

Losing (changing?) my religion…

“18 If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”John 15:18-19

This verse seems to be the core of what’s going on in the world. “The world” in this context, I believe, is referring to the worldly system set up – not the world as in the planet Earth. It is the whole societal structure that has been set up in an attempt to keep us all in line, and chasing the all-mighty dollar.

It involves the educational institutions, the medical/health industries, politics, economics, financial institutions, trade, stock market… and yes, most of all, RELIGION.

To understand this in better context, you HAVE to come to terms with the idea that there are, indeed, secret societies that exist. Once you can understand this concept, this notion not only becomes believable, but it practically leads all roads down this path and everything starts making sense.

I have touched upon this subject before, but imagine our beginnings, our ancestors, our ACTUAL history. Where did we come from? Imagine if there was a group of people that retained their knowledge of our actual heritage… And what if some of these very same people described in these texts, are still deadset in their ways – and refuse to acknowledge The One, True, Supreme Creator? What if, they are exactly what the Bible describes as those “of the world”?

“23 And He said to them, “You are from beneath; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world. 24 Therefore I said to you that you will die in your sins; for if you do not believe that I am He, you will die in your sins.”John 8:23-24

“43 Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word. 44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it. 45 But because I tell the truth, you do not believe Me. 46 Which of you convicts Me of sin? And if I tell the truth, why do you not believe Me? 47 He who is of God hears God’s words; therefore you do not hear, because you are not of God.” – John 8:43-47

Now, this is where things get tricky. I usually say something like the following, “I am not religious. But I am spiritual.”

And it’s been something that I’ve actually come to terms with that I don’t belong to one set religion. And that the battle we’re facing is a spiritual warfare. I still hold to that mindset. I also subscribe to the belief that the things of the material world are meant to lead us astray. The “world” that we should be following is Jesus Christ and the teachings of Love and Forgiveness; a divine/holy way of living. Not of things “of the world”. And that includes this whole societal construct most of us are living in right now.

And during my studies through Genesis, couldn’t help but notice the focus that the Lord is making towards wealth, land, nations, kingdoms, etc. …In my view of God, this does not fit. Now, I don’t want to be presumptuous and say that I know who/what God is, but in my heart, I feel as if the God that I am familiar with would not care about material wealth/possessions. It has rather been hard for me to get through this doctrine. So after doing some more research on this matter, came across a group known as the Cathars.

“Of themselves they say: “We are the poor of Christ, who have no fixed abode and flee from city to city like sheep amidst wolves, are persecuted as were the apostles and the martyrs, despite the fact that we lead a most strict and holy life, persevering day and night in fasts and abstinence, in prayers, and in labour from which we seek only the necessities of life. We undergo this because we are not of this world. But you, lovers of the world, have peace with it because you are of the world. False apostles, who pollute the word of Christ, who seek after their own interest, have led you and your fathers astray from the true path. We and our fathers, of apostolic descent, have continued in the Grace of God and shall so remain to the end of time. To distinguish between us and you Christ said “By their fruits you shall know them”. Our fruits consist in following the footsteps of Christ.”

– Source: Cathars and Cathar Beliefs in the Languedoc | Cathar Beliefs

“Cathar theology was essentially Gnostic in nature. They believed that there were two “gods”—one malevolent and one good. The former was in charge of all visible and material things and was held responsible for all the atrocities in the Old Testament. The benevolent god, on the other hand, was the one the Cathars worshipped and was responsible for the message of Jesus. Accordingly, they made every effort to follow the teachings of Jesus as closely as possible.”

– Source: Cathars & Albigenses: What Was Catharism?

This is fascinating to me. While I was researching Genesis, the incredible focus on land, wealth, material possessions, the aroma of burnt offerings pleasing the Lord… just did not resonate with me. I entertained the idea, “What if the God of the Old Testament is different than the God of the New Testament?” I know this is seen as highly blasphemous by a lot of those following Christianity, and again, I am not Christian, per se, but I do whole-heartedly believe in and love Jesus Christ.

So seeing a group known as the Cathars – who were “all” wiped out, incidently – referring to the Old Testament as having a God different than that of the New Testament, blew my mind. And that their stance about the material world being one of evil inclinations and temptations, and the way to divinity is to live in pure, kind compassion with each other and nature – COMPLETELY resonated with me.

Am I a Cathar and am just now learning about it?

Even more interesting, is coming across a prophecy that the very last Cathar made before he was burned alive (since all the Cathars were considered heretics – albeit, to cover up a different reason why they were genocided…)

“In 700 years, when the laurel grows green again” – Guilhem de Belibaste

Historical documentations point to Guilhem de Belibaste being burned allegedy on August 21, 1321 – although that specific date has been debated. But 1321 has been widely accepted and not contested. So if this date is correct, then of course the prophecy points to the year 2021 as being “when the laurel grows green again”.

But what does that mean, exactly? Again, that is up for debate. And no one really knows if this prophecy will come true as it is, and even if it does, what it will entail. So perhaps it is an obscure statement that could apply to a wide variety of possibilities, and it may not even be noticeable at the moment. But if it means what many people think it does, then it would seem a worldwide revival of the Cathar belief system, whether they consciously realize it or not, may be in effect.

Once you lose your innocence, you can’t get it back.

(Or can you?)

When I went down the rabbit hole and started questioning my own sanity and my religion, I realized something that really struck me at what was wrong with how I intrinsically felt inside.

It was the dawning awareness that my naivete, my innocence, my open-eyed wonder of the world, had come to an abrupt halt, and I was now looking at the grim reality around me. The reality that the world that most people strive to be a part of, one that I used to want to be a part of, is one full of traps, pitfalls, wicked deeds that are now being passed off as “good”, and a systematic powerhouse of leading us away from our true purpose.

Once my eyes opened to all of this deception, the lies, the fraud – most of it pointing to a huge spiritual upset – the sorrow that I felt since I knew that my life would never be the same and I would never get back that child-like innocence, swallowed me and left me feeling alone and desolate, and a yearning for the ways that it used to be.

But then, after struggling with this inner turmoil, I came to the resolution that I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now, at least, I am awakening to the horrible atrocities that are committed just to keep the rest of us in the dark. I can step off of this worldly platform and fully dedicate myself to Jesus Christ and His teachings, knowing that I’m doing the right thing. Perhaps this is what must be done in order to raise people’s awareness and spread the message that the spiritual warfare is real, and goes deeper and darker than we think.

Maybe by putting aside this naive gullibility and innocent outlook towards the world, thinking that all of these material enhancements are for our benefit, we can shift our focus onto nature and our true roots – our soul and connection to the Creator.

Although I lost my innocence as a blissfully unaware human, just living my life as best as I can, I have gained an understanding and desire to strive for the Truth, and step out of this harmful paradigm of perpetuating division and materialistic pursuits.

I have asked myself, even though my innocence has been shattered, is there a way I can piece it back together? Not by ignoring all of the situations around us, but by slowly picking up all of these pieces and acknowledging that I can still enjoy the small things in life? The soothing sound of rain falling… A genuine smile from a loved one or stranger… A sweet video of a random act of kindness – or especially initiating the act of kindness ourself…

Maybe I’ve lost my sanity 😛 , maybe even changed my “religion” (although I’m not sure about that yet), and lost my innocence, but I do still have hope and the belief that things will work out in the end anyway. My motto, besides “Love and Forgive”, is “Jesus wins”. So no matter how much darkness seems to surround us, I have faith that “the world” will come to terms to its reality eventually and get back on the right track.

With that being said, my life may not be the same as it was before. And I may miss it at times, but to me, this just means that I’m heading in the right direction.

“20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” – Ephesians 4:20-24

Featured image by msandersmusic from Pixabay

Genesis 15: God’s Covenant with Abram

Earnest Examination

This series is presented as an honest, sincere look into the study of the Bible with my own personal theories, opinions, comments and that of others’ insights and research into what the verses could mean. I cannot claim one way or another that everything that I am stating is fact and the true meaning of what is meant in these verses.

To lay it out in a way that I can manage, I have highlighted the texts of verses that I either don’t understand or have a comment or question about in yellow. And the comments I’ve left beneath it will be of a smaller font and using brown text.

I would love it if you’d join me in this journey and if you have any insights and/or knowledge of these chapters/verses etc., please feel free to share with me and the other readers. Any chance to get a clearer understanding of the Bible and Jesus Christ would be welcomed with open arms.

Version used is from (KJV) Genesis 15

1 After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, saying, “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.”
I want to point out the small phrase, “in a vision”. What does this mean, exactly? “In a vision” doesn’t necessarily imply “in a dream”. Was Abram fully awake during this vision? Was he daydreaming? Prophesying? Actually dreaming? Was it a vision in a dream? And how did Abram know that this vision was from the Lord? Did he test this vision? Or just accept it as coming from the Lord? I only pursue this question because we are always told to test spirits, test visions, discern… so that we may not be led astray. Am I implying that Abram possibly was seeing visions from a different entity? Well, I’m not exactly implying anything, but I am attempting to shed light on this matter that to be discerning means to question and search for the Truth, however uncomfortable it may be. And it is my effort to find out if Abram KNEW, from every fiber of his being, if this vision truly came from God or was he being deceived.
2 But Abram said, “Lord God, what will You give me, seeing I go childless, and the heir of my house is Eliezer of Damascus?”
…I also wonder about bloodlines, which is clearly what is meant in this verse. Abram is concerned about preserving his bloodline… although, if we take the creation account to heart, then we are all born of Adam and Eve – again, if there’s nothing more to this account – and so the specific pursuit to carry on one’s own bloodline is a fascinating subject to me. Even back then there was so much separation and animosity, quite possibly due to the separation at the Tower of Babel (although even within Cain and Abel’s own family there was already strife and conflict) created families who considered themselves separate from everyone else. It’s interesting and makes me wonder if there’s something more to this history than what most of us were/are led to believe.
3 Then Abram said, “Look, You have given me no offspring; indeed one born in my house is my heir!”
How important is “blood”? Is it about the blood? The DNA? The questions I’m wondering is, why was Abram chosen to be the “people of God”? I haven’t been able to study the Talmud, the Q’uran, Kabbalah, Testament of Abraham, the Ugaritic texts, etc. and it is something that I definitely want to look into in order to get a broader picture of who Abraham is and his descendants. Since Abraham is widely believed to be the line of the C”hosen Ones”, I feel it’s important to find out how, why, for what purpose, etc., etc.
According to this verse, no other bloodline is going to cut it. His adopted son does not suffice. So why is Abraham’s line so important? Why was he chosen?

4 And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “This one shall not be your heir, but one who will come from your own body shall be your heir.”
5 Then He brought him outside and said, “Look now toward heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them.” And He said to him, “So shall your descendants be.”
6 And he believed in the Lord, and He accounted it to him for righteousness.
7 Then He said to him, “I am the Lord, who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans, to give you this land to inherit it.”
8 And he said, “Lord God, how shall I know that I will inherit it?”

This is interesting as well, because while the Lord God promised Abram the whole world, basically, Jesus Christ’s teachings is to “come out of this world” and inherit the kingdom of God (Heaven). So I find the stark contrast between these two teachings as very intriguing and worth further consideration.
9 So He said to him, “Bring Me a three-year-old heifer, a three-year-old female goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon.”
10 Then he brought all these to Him and cut them in two, down the middle, and placed each piece opposite the other; but he did not cut the birds in two.

These verses confuse me even more. So the Lord God told Abram to bring Him all of these animals, with no further context to it, but then in the very next verse Abram takes it upon himself to cut them in half and place each piece opposite the other. …Am I missing something here? Is this some kind of ritualistic sacrifice? How does Abram come to the conclusion that this is the act that he must do when God told him to bring those animals to Him? Is it the act of bringing death upon the animals is symbolic of bringing the animals to God? And even if so, why do it in such a specific manner as to cut them in half? And why not the birds? Do these questions get answered in other texts or further verses/chapters of the Bible? This just seems very strange to me and screams of ritualistic sacrifice. Perhaps akin to witchcraft.
Is that blasphemous? Or am I just stating a well-earned speculation that Abram’s actions may be paganistic? It is not my intention to condemn or blaspheme the word of God, but only to raise much needed questions and consideration of the texts and belief structures that it proposes. I am a believer in God and Jesus Christ, and the pursuit of Truth. “Truth” does not mean to blindly listen to certain texts/words/teachings of others, but to sincerely study and learn our surroundings and pray for insight so that we may not be led astray. That is what I am attempting to do.

11 And when the vultures came down on the carcasses, Abram drove them away.
12 Now when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold, horror and great darkness fell upon him.
…Hm… this lends further credence that the act that Abram performed may have been ritualistic in nature. What is this “horror and great darkness” that fell upon him? Demonic, perhaps?
Not to mention, in some other translations of this verse, they don’t say “a deep sleep” fell upon Abram:

“12 And when the sun was gone down, dread felled on Abram, and a great hideousness and dark assailed him. (And as the sun went down, fear fell upon Abram, and a great dark hideousness assailed him.)”Wycliffe Bible

Sometimes I refer back to the Wycliffe version, since it seems to be the earliest English translation there is, and in his version it does not say that Abram fell into a deep sleep, but rather that dread and fear fell upon him. And the term “assail”, at least in today’s time, implies that he was attacked by this “great dark hideousness”.
13 Then He said to Abram: “Know certainly that your descendants will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, and will serve them, and they will afflict them four hundred years.
14 And also the nation whom they serve I will judge; afterward they shall come out with great possessions.

So I’m trying to understand the transition of these past few verses. I can infer a few speculations (but I suppose ‘speculations’ they will remain):

1. The horror and great darkness that befell Abram was the entity that has been speaking to Abram as the word of the Lord. Assailing Abram with his power? His authority? Physically assaulting Abram? Maybe… spiritually?
2. The horror and great darkness was an inclination, a gut feeling, that something bad will happen – follow that up with the Lord saying that his descendants will be in trouble for a few years may have given him this fear/dread. Certainly very likely. Although it doesn’t seem to explain the term “assailed” that was originally used as the translation.
3. Perhaps because of the Lord gifting Abram and his descendants with the land and various possessions, it made the dark entities jealous and wrathful – therefore the darkness is the acknowledgement that Abram’s descendants will go through some hardships in order to rise above these dark entities and inherit the land.

Now, this brings me again to the land and the possessions. I can’t help but keep going back to Jesus Christ’s teachings that worldly possessions mean NOTHING in the eyes of the Lord. In fact, he teaches that those who have riches and wealth and all these possessions are on the WRONG PATH to Heaven. Yet in these biblical teachings, Abram has been chosen to inherit the land and the riches in them. …Am I the only one who doesn’t quite understand this dichotomy? But then I am also reminded of the verse in Matthew 5 where it says that the meek shall inherit the Earth. So here we have Abram and his descendants, being promised inherited land and wealth/possessions, and then here’s Jesus saying that the meek will inherit the land. Are Abram and his descendants meek? Did Jesus offer up sacrifices to God to earn His good graces? Am I speaking out of turn and just not understanding the symbolic or universal workings of the world?

15 Now as for you, you shall go to your fathers in peace; you shall be buried at a good old age.
16 But in the fourth generation they shall return here, for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet complete.”
17 And it came to pass, when the sun went down and it was dark, that behold, there appeared a smoking oven and a burning torch that passed between those pieces.
More interesting implications here, that seem to point to Abram performing a ritualistic spell and/or sacrifice. I know I may get pushback against this speculation, but again, it is NOT to offend anyone. It is only to offer up what an honest look into these verses may provoke in someone who hasn’t studied the Bible and other texts extensively and who is on a sincere path to understanding the Bible and its teachings. From an unbiased and subjective look into these verses, it seems as if Abram is performing witchcraft. Perhaps that is just how people worshipped back in those days, and I can somewhat understand that. And perhaps that is why Jesus Christ came to begin with, to show us that we no longer (or have ever) need to perform these rituals and instead look to being kind and loving to one another and believe in Him to have everlasting life. Of course, that doesn’t explain why this Lord at this time asked to have certain animals brought to him, and doesn’t explain how Abram knew how to set up this altar of sorts.
And speaking of this altar, where did this “smoking oven” and the “burning torch” come from? And it just so happened to ceremoniously pass in between the cut pieces of the animals… It seems quite obvious that this was on purpose and that Abram knew to do this. But how? Who taught him to offer up these animals to the Lord in this manner? And what is the smoking oven that just allegedly appeared out of nowhere? It does not do my peace of mind well to make this connection to Moloch, a terrible deity who is often portrayed as having a furnace or oven for a stomach in which to throw sacrifices into – sacrifices that tragically included (includes?) babies/children. Take another translation from Wycliffe, for example:


“17 Therefore when the sun was gone down, a dark mist was made, and a furnace smoking appeared, and a lamp of fire, and (it) passed through those partings. (And when the sun had gone down, a dark mist came, and a smoking furnace appeared, and a lamp of fire which passed between the pieces of the animals.)”

This is extremely suspicious to me. And I feel rather at odds because as far as I’ve researched, I have not come across a lot of sources making this connection. Am I completely in the wrong here? Why am I having this red flag when it comes to this sacrificial act and the “dark mist” and oven/furnace that just so happened to appear (manifest?) out of nowhere to “pass (collect?)” these sacrifices? I am actually quite perplexed that I don’t see many references to this as even being a possibility. I can’t be the only one who finds these texts suspicious…
18 On the same day the Lord made a covenant with Abram, saying: “To your descendants I have given this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the River Euphrates—
19 the Kenites, the Kenezzites, the Kadmonites,
20 the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Rephaim,
21 the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Girgashites, and the Jebusites.”

I know sometimes it would seem as if I’m questioning the veracity of the Bible’s origins, and while that may be true in some sense, it is not meant to presume, condemn, or ridicule, and certainly not meant to certify the propositions I set forth. And I definitely don’t mean to insult or offend anyone, especially not God. It is only to get a clearer understanding of the meanings of the Bible, and the possibility that during so many transitions and translation efforts, and perhaps intentional/unintentional mishandling and misinterpretations, that the Truth along the way may have been concealed more than we’d like.

And as usual, I want to reiterate that some of my thoughts and theories may be way off base, and I also research some other things on the side as well to try and get a broader understanding of what I’m reading, so please bear with me, or, even better, if you have insights that bring more light to these verses, please let me know.

I enjoy bouncing off theories and theology off of each other and love to hear other people’s perspectives on things. Thank you for reading and I look forward to hearing from you!

Fact checking is extremely important. I want to reiterate not to take everything at face value; no matter what you read, where you read it from, or who you hear it from. And to be clear, do not rely on “fact checking” websites to give you accurate information either. These are just as likely, (if not even more likely…), to feed false information and false debunking accounts to manipulate the reader. Please take everything into consideration before adhering to a certain narrative – and always keep your mind open to other possibilities.

Fair use disclaimer: Some of the links from this article are provided from different sources/sites to give the reader extra information and cite the sources, but does not necessarily mean that I endorse the contents of the site itself. Additionally, I have tried to provide links to the contents that I used from other sites as an educational and/or entertainment means only; if you feel that any information deserves further citation or request to be clarified, please let me know through the contact page.

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Genesis 1: The Beginning

Earnest Examination

To start, I’ve realized that I have never read the Bible front to back, and so would like to remedy that. On some of my posts, I quote from the Bible, which I feel is a little insincere if I’m not going to study the whole Bible. So this is my chance to get closer to the Word and really understand the book that I occasionally quote from.
 
Originally, I was going to start with the New Testament as a friend has advised me to do, since when I started on the Old Testament I kept getting hung up on what I saw at the time were contradictions, and baseless wickedness and corruption. It repelled me from the Bible. She mentioned that that is exactly why Jesus Christ came. To do away with the “old” ways and bring about a new, better way of living. Which is to love and care about one another. The reason the Old Testament is so important is so that we know the conditions of how the world used to be, before Jesus Christ arrived to show us a more peaceful and loving way to be.
 
Now that I feel I may have a better understanding of this, I am compelled to start from “The Beginning“, both literally and figuratively. After having attempted Matthew 3, I realize that I am constantly having the urge to go back through the Bible to check references and names, etc. Since my desire is to take this one step at a time and build upon the knowledge based upon the timeline laid out before us in the Bible, I have decided to revisit the time I tried to read the Bible front to back, and see if my old views still stand.
 
Make no mistake, I will still have questions and ponderings about why God decided to do the things He’s done (and of course more questions on top of that), but I have learned not to condemn or judge such actions since I do feel some things are beyond our understandings and it is not my place to judge. I will try my best to look at it from an unbiased and simply curious, thoughtful mind.
 

To lay it out in a way that I can manage, I have highlighted the texts of verses that I either don’t understand or have a comment or question about in yellow. And the comments I’ve left beneath it will be of a smaller font and using brown text.

I would love it if you’d join me in this journey and if you have any insights and/or knowledge of these chapters/verses etc., please feel free to share with me and the other readers. Any chance to get a clearer understanding of the Bible and Jesus Christ would be welcomed with open arms.

All verses used are from biblestudytools.com (NIV) Genesis 1

The Beginning

1 In the beginning God created the heavens (I noticed this is plural – upon investigating realized that the Bible describes 3 different heavens, but on this particular verse, it seems to imply that it is used to describe “sky”, not “The Heaven” in which the angels/God/Heavenly hosts reside in. Which begs the questions, did God create The Heavens as well, or is it a construct that we as physical beings can’t quite comprehend?) and the earth.
2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

In my mind, this is obviously alluding to the sun. However, when reading a few more verses beneath this one, verse 16, it clearly seems to depict the makings of the sun and the moon (the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night) on the fourth day, so my obvious conclusion is incorrect. So what was this “light”?
4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.
Now here we can see the deliberate separation of the light from the darkness. It reminds me of the allegory of the candle that I read somewhere. I can’t remember where, but if I come across it I will give credit to where it’s due. But it mentions that you can put light into a dark room, such as using a candle, lamp, light bulb, etc., but you can’t put darkness into a room that’s already lit. It was meant to signify the spiritual side of things. I might have heard this allegory from a near death experience, where I believe someone mentioned that when they were initially heading towards hell or the darkness, they could see a pinpoint of light that was coming towards him and it radiated through the darkness and reached him. Then he mentioned that it was impossible for the darkness to be allowed into the light because the light would just completely engulf it. Darkness simply can’t exist in the light. So if one’s heart or soul is completely dark and cold, there’s no way it could get to Heaven. But as long as there’s light within, you can shine even in the darkness and go to Heaven.
I liked this rendition and it has stuck with me ever since I read it.
Now with this verse, it doesn’t seem to have spiritual connotations, but it makes sense physically and scientifically when thinking about the candle story. If there was light, there wouldn’t be darkness. So God made the means to separate the two.

5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
So since God has not made the sun yet, I can only surmise that this light was, as of yet, an un-contained amount of energy that simply obeyed God’s will.
6 And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.”
7 So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so.

8 God called the vault “sky.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.
Okay, I’m just going to say it. I am very confused. Here is another reason why I was so reluctant to read the Bible, because there are so many different versions, so many different translations, and even with the slightest change could end up with a completely different result or meaning.
Take these verses, for instance. I remember reading that it wasn’t a “vault”, but a “firmament”; which, okay, very slight difference and of no real significance. They mean the same thing, right? I am okay with that. However, in verse 8, I remember it specifically saying “heaven” and not “sky”. And yes, we’ve already covered that there are 3 different types of “heavens”, so that doesn’t quite phase me either. What does absolutely confuse me, though, is that when looking at the KJV, the verse is this: “And God called the firmament Heaven.”
This is a huge difference to me because not only is the word “Heaven” capitalized, but it is also singular. Then, when looking at the very first verse of the KJV, it states this, “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.” In this sentence, “heaven” is not plural or capitalized. Then, to make matters even worse, when looking at a 1980’s NKJV book that was passed down from my family, the first verse is a lower case “heavens”, yet verse 8 writes “Heaven”. What am I to make with all these differences? To me, they aren’t just slight, insignificant differences. They are large ones that can give a completely new meaning depending on how one looks at it.
For that matter, how do we know which translation is the most correct? Other than actually learning Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic and studying the very first original documentations of the Bible, not to mention the other languages that could benefit from these ancient writings?
(I will leave this particular rant here, because I am sure there’s more to come.)
Getting back to the separation of water from water, I have gathered that to mean the clouds/sky/”heaven”, from the waters of the Earth.

9 And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so.
10 God called the dry ground “land,” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” And God saw that it was good.
11 Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so.
12 The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
13 And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.

14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years,
15 and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so.
16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars.

So here we see the creations of the sun, moon and stars, perhaps the constellations as well, but does this include the other planets? The other galaxies? After all, the motion of the planets have helped people determine special days and times, along with solar and lunar cycles, so I would surmise that these were created as well. The Bible also alludes to some significance in regards to the planetary alignments and of course the “morning star”, which has been considered as Venus on numerous occasions.
17 God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth,
18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good.
19 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.

20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.”
21 So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.
22 God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.”
23 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.
24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so.

25 God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
I want to mention, these verses as well as verse 21 mentions “kind(s)” numerous times. Enough times to make it quite significant. Why would these verses be so specific in this regard? Perhaps it’s because these verses attempt to drive home the importance of not interbreeding these species and instead let natural reproduction occur. As we know in today’s time (and, to be honest, who knows how long it’s been going on for) the practice of interbreeding and hybridization has been on the increase and there are many attempts at cross-breeding and dna-altering, genetic manipulation, etc., etc. going on. Quite so that it’s actually pretty terrifying. I think these verses were specifically referring to let each kind be it’s kind, and to interfere with that could lead to unexpected consequences.
26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
This is a very interesting verse to me.
For one, who was God speaking to?
“Let us”
(Who else? Who’s “us”?)
“in our image”
“in our likeness”
This would imply that there are others that are of God’s image as well. Not just God Himself, or humankind, apparently, but other beings. Are these the angels? Separate Heavenly host members? A kind of “counsel”, if you will? Surely He did not mean “other gods”, correct?
Secondly, who actually wrote Genesis? Many Bible scholars attribute Genesis to being written by Moses, perhaps under divine revelation. But this has not been confirmed. Only speculated and theorized upon. So no one really knows for sure.

27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
I won’t quite get into this verse just yet, since I know the particular issue I want to raise stems from Genesis 6, but wanted to point out the dichotomy between the male/female human being. Angels themselves, at least biblically, are more often than not considered to be of a masculine form.
28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
This verse makes me sad because it sets up the world to be a blissful utopia in which humankind and animalkind can live side by side in peace and harmony, yet before even the first human child is to be born (Cain), that perfect world has been tainted. Even though at that time animals were still peaceful, the fact that from the very beginning, “we” lived in sin, makes my heart sad.
29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.
30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.

This verse and the one above it implies that at this time there were no carnivorous beings. Yes, humans had dominion over the animals, but there is nothing to implicate that they were given to us for food. But verse 29 specifically mentions that all plants and fruits are given to us for food. And then in verse 30, all green plants are given to animals to eat. There is no mention that animals or humans are to eat one another.
31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.
“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” – I have to repeat that line because as most of us know, the drama that enfolds on the following pages shows us the dark turn that the world gets thrusted in due to certain specific decisions of God’s creations. Now, while I love God’s creations, and it is due to the actions of a small handful of characters that pivots us into a world of chaos, I must still admit that my understanding of His sovereign plan is out of my reach. Thankfully, I have the faith and trust in the Lord to see me through, and I am, as always, searching for the Truth.

That concludes the first chapter of Genesis, and I am interested to see what my reaction will be when I finally get to the chapter that initially made me give up on the Old Testament. (I didn’t even finish Genesis originally…)

But now that I have a more patient outlook and understanding of what I’m reading, I feel more encouraged and determined to gain further insights and knowledge into the Holy Bible.

And again, if you have further revelations/knowledge about this chapter, please feel free to share. I enjoy bouncing off theories and theology off of each other. Thank you for reading and I look forward to hearing from you!

Fact checking is extremely important. I want to reiterate not to take everything at face value; no matter what you read, where you read it from, or who you hear it from. And to be clear, do not rely on “fact checking” websites to give you accurate information either. These are just as likely, (if not even more likely…), to feed false information and false debunking accounts to manipulate the reader. Please take everything into consideration before adhering to a certain narrative – and always keep your mind open to other possibilities.

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Earnest Examination

Genesis 16: Hagar and Ishmael - Earnest Examination
Genesis 14: Abram Rescues Lot - Earnest Examination
Genesis 13: Abram Inherits Canaan - Earnest Examination
Genesis 12: The Call of Abram - Earnest Examination
Genesis 11: The Tower of Babel - Earnest Examination
Genesis 10: The Table of Nations - Earnest Examination
Genesis 8: Noah’s Deliverance - Earnest Examination
Genesis 7: The Flood Begins - Earnest Examination