Demoralization: What Happens When We Feel Like Giving Up

Sometimes the world seems so dark – it almost feels hopeless…

I don’t write opinionated reflections a lot. Most of the time I try to give readers real videos, transcripts, documents about what was said by either those in charge of certain projects, or whistleblowers exposing plans, or testimonies from others who describe their experience that people need to be aware about.

While I do have my opinions and share them throughout my posts, I very rarely spend a whole post describing my emotions as I go through them.

However, admittedly, the disheartening news all around us can sometimes be overwhelming and the future extremely bleak, which casts a dark shadow of pointlessness to even pursuing these subjects any longer. Sometimes, knowing all of the atrocities going on around us, it’s easy to get lost amid a sea of hopelessness.

We see those responsible for heinous crimes constantly getting away with it, and not only that, celebrating vacations, weddings, and get-togethers with their cohorts and their ilk; while the rest of us remain under the oppressive regime of mandates, vaccine/mask narratives, and constant scrutiny if we show the littlest bit of hesitancy towards these agendas.

Seeing the people who should be behind bars living it up and able to travel freely on their private yachts and/or jets, while those simply trying to make an honest living are left either quitting their jobs/careers to refuse the vaccine mandate, or getting fired for refusing to comply – or they cave into the demands of the system and get the vaccine unwillingly to keep their job or just so that they can travel – which has ultimately sadly led to many unnecessary and tragic adverse events.

Seeing pictures of the “elite” group gathering around in large festivities and celebrations/meetings without any social distancing or masks to speak of, while the workers and camera crew catering to them are wearing masks. Clearly indicating that the “elites” are not worried about contracting ANYTHING, much less COVID, but yet they demand that the useless eaterstheir slaves… their employees wear a mask around them.

Seeing countless videos of politicians, celebrities, diplomatic leaders faking a vaccine, while encouraging, bribing and/or berating others to get it. Calling those who refuse to get it a “selfish fool” who doesn’t care about grandma.

Watching as hundreds and thousands of doctors, nurses, healthcare workers, scientists, etc. speak up against the vaccine – yet people are still refusing to listen to them, and instead continue to listen to the mainstream media and government funded doctors – like Anthony Fauci.

Seeing doctors and heads of the vaccine group (NIH, CDC, FDA, Pfizer, etc.) continuously lie to the public about the vaccine’s efficacy, or lack thereof, and the completely inane push to administer even more of the vaccine that didn’t work the first, second or third time around.

Learning about the terrible situation involving the suppression of Ivermectin – meanwhile hundreds of those in Congress are allegedly secretly getting treated with this medication – while those in charge of the coronavirus task force prevent its use in pharmacies worldwide and hospitals refuse to treat patients with it, at the same time the MSM continues to ridicule the concept by labeling it a “horsepaste”…

All of this outrageous deception and manipulation and utter clown show – within the span of less than 2 years – because a large group of people still can’t wake up to the obvious lies and endless dictatorship that’s edging ever closer to becoming a normality because people would rather continue to believe the lie and a modicum of comfort, compared to opening their eyes and seeing the huge, dystopian overhaul that tptsb have planned for us.

All of it is not only discouraging, it’s also downright depressing.

So sometimes I find myself sitting down in exhaustion, hard to find myself even moving because that would mean the reality around us is still in full effect, so by choosing to not move perhaps I can take myself out of this reality for a little bit and just exist without participating in the world that I have grown increasingly more disappointed in.

I just sit there, contemplating life, or even not thinking at all – wondering how no matter how much proof is around us, some people will still refuse to see it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, it’s that people will refuse to connect the dots and insist that it’s just happenstance, a coincidence, nothing to be alarmed about, and so on and so forth. Their refusal to believe it doesn’t mean that it’s a ridiculous concept, but it’s more that they can’t handle it if they were to find out what the world is REALLY about, because it would mean their whole lives (all of ours) is one giant lie built on a foundation of horror and wickedness.

Or, they simply don’t care. They are so comfortable in the system, that to question it would upset their whole way of life and they rather enjoy living under governmental rule, because it allows someone else to think for them. They are indoctrinated into the system so badly that anyone resisting this type of regime is automatically seen as the “bad guy”. The plot to The Matrix playing out in real time.

So once in a while, I catch myself in utter despair, not wanting to continue on in my attempts at waking others up. They will either see the truth for what it is, or they will continue to ignore the “world” for what it really is. The Lord will call on those He chooses, while those who remain in the dark may forever be lost.

But then I remember how God did indeed call me out of this world. He led me to Him, because I was not the most pristine of followers – or a follower at all, at that point. I was a lost soul like so many others. I did not pray. I did not go to church. I did not read the Bible. As a matter of fact, I shunned the Bible. So to say that He literally called me out of this world would not be an exaggeration.

And who was there when I was questioning what was happening to me? When I went to search for an answer as to what these signs and synchronicities were, how did I finally find my answer that I wasn’t just a crazy person who heard God’s voice – but actually heard Him and He’s the one we are supposed to seek if we want to find Truth?

I found this out by other people, on their own journey, and reading/listening about their own testimonies, and their walk that brought them to the same conclusion. Even though they were at risk of ridicule, scorn, derision, etc., they still came forth to share their experiences on how they got called out of this world – perhaps on their own quest to also wake up others and help them when they choose to seek these answers out for themselves.

And so I am utterly grateful for these people who went against the grain and spoke up to help others who are on their own individual journey – those who may be slowly waking up out of this stupor created solely to keep us from seeking our true purpose – and it reminds me that even if people do not wake up NOW, then the trajectory that we are heading – with God at the helm, will indeed slowly but surely reach out to others, waking them up in their own time, until every single one of us experiences a conscious awakening – and we collectively realize who we really are and take the necessary steps to ensure a future of peace and happiness, instead of the chaos and panic that the “global elites” are trying to dictate upon the world.

I remind myself that I was as lost as many others not so long ago – and I wonder at how those who were already awake at the time felt about people like me. Perhaps growing frustrated that while they could see the evil overtaking the world, people like me at the time were still blissfully unaware in our own little bubble – happily going on about our own lives without a care in the world. Enjoying movies, hanging out with friends, gossiping, going to work, etc., etc., etc. Fully asleep, fully ignorant to the wickedness growing increasingly more brazen as time rolls on.

Perhaps this is part of the “plan”. As the depravity grows, those who are even deep asleep have no choice but to wake up, otherwise they are knowingly participating in the corruption and immorality that has been surrounding us and deceptively trying to get the population to be an active part of. Trying to normalize mandatory drugs/vaccines, transgenderism, transhumanism, pedophilia, critical race theory, satanism, abortions, genetically modifying everything – including humans, reverse aging by transfusing “young blood”, etc., etc., etc…

There is no doubt in my mind that evil has a stranglehold in the world. And time is running out for people to wake up. Perhaps this is why I sometimes have fear strike in my heart – seeing the amount of godlessness pervading practically every aspect of our society – but then I remember that God IS ultimately in control, and I remember my faith, and I remember how lost and clueless I was before waking up to this depravity, and I remember all of the people who have helped me along the way to make sense of our reality and who were awake for years and years and years before I was.

And all I can say is, thank GOD for them.

So when I feel like giving up, and find myself asking, “What’s the point?”, I remember God and all those who were awake long before I was, who had the patience and endurance to continue on, planting the seeds and graciously helping others who haven’t quite woken up out of the matrix yet. While they may have had similar feelings of hopelessness at points, their love for God and for humanity kept them going. I remember Jesus Christ, who literally spread the gospel of love and forgiveness, even up to the point of his persecution and death, by the very same people He was trying to save.

And so knowing all of this, there’s no way I can give up. While despair sometimes strikes, I am reminded of the many good people in the world, working hard to wake others and/or planting the seed for those who were lost but are now seeking the right path. I am reminded of my own shortcomings and my own dismissal of certain “conspiracy theories”, that after an honest look at it objectively, found myself to be completely in the wrong.

I take heart knowing that just because someone is lost now, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t on their own journey into waking up; and I take heart knowing that there are brave and caring souls speaking up on others behalf, helping to spread awareness to reach others.

And I am thankful for all of my readers, whether they have stumbled across here by accident, or are actively seeking the truth as well. You are a blessing, whether you realize it or not. We are all in this together, and try as the corrupt establishment might to demoralize us, I have faith in God and humanity’s will to persevere.

I love you all. God bless.

You Are Much More Than You Realize | But You Need to Believe It

What do you believe in? Do you REALLY believe it?

I don’t normally write opinionated or speculative pieces on this website; usually I try and provide informational articles or transcripts, or a collection of important subjects to consider, etc.

However, this is also incredibly important and I was due for some serious reflection when considering human nature and its connection to energy/vibration/frequency/etc.

I come across a lot of theories that our thoughts form the world around us. If that’s the case, then would a worldwide focus on disease and sickness literally create this mindset that we’re all in? Would a collective consciousness, mainly focused on one thing, bring it to being?

There’s so much to unravel when diving into this subject, and of course I’m not going to come to a clear-cut conclusion, because I have no professional knowledge about metaphysics or quantum mechanics, but I do want to bring up the topic just for deliberation.

Image by Garik Barseghyan from Pixabay

Imagine all of the influences that shape your view of the world today. Imagine how you thought of the world when you were younger. Is the stark difference (if any) between the two due to knowledge and experience, simply growing up and learning more about the world around you? Or was it due to outside sources shaping your feelings, emotions, thoughts, patterns? (A combination of both? A nature versus nurture/parental/societal upbringing?)
 
Let’s take this website, for example. Am I unknowingly feeding into the negativity, fear, chaos, confusion, low-vibration energies that I would like humanity to rise out of? By comprising a lot of the articles with negative topics – granted due to wanting to inform readers of the events that are going on around us – I can’t help but feel as if I’m contributing to spreading the anxiety, fears, panic, etc.
 
This is not my intention, but the sentiment remains.
 
There is also the fact of the matter that there are studies that people are naturally drawn to “bad news” rather than good news. Sure it could be from a tendency to be aware of our surroundings and be alert so that we can know what actions to take, but one could also argue that this isn’t the case because of the lack of action to prevent or change these certain things from happening. So then the question becomes, why are we drawn to negativity instead of seeking the positive?
 
Perhaps a twisted curiosity of the chaotic events surrounding us? A slight obsession to keep ourselves informed of all the bad/evil things occurring in the world, yet offering little to no action to counteract it? As it is, there are some groups coming together to raise awareness of several political attempts to impose unnecessary rules and mandates, which does help, but what about the others who remain in their state of un-acknowledgment, or even worse, complicity? Then when considering those who are fully aware of what’s going on, yet maintain a defeatist position, or an apathetic one, the struggle to see the positive outcome can get overwhelming.
 
If the world is indeed composed of energy, frequency, vibration, thoughts, then by constantly focusing on the negative aspects and collectively indulging these thoughts, it creates an endless cycle of fear, division, emotional distress, etc. that keeps us in this lower state of energetic frequency/mentality.
 
If our world does indeed stem from our belief system, creating the trap that essentially enslaves us, then wouldn’t it be prudent to set our beliefs and thought patterns away from all of this evil and negativity, and instead direct it towards hope, faith, love and forgiveness?
 
Some may scoff at this idea, but there could be understandings that bring this theory to interesting reflection, if only one would expand their thinking and entertain these thoughts without the need for completely believing them.
 
Take, for example, the “paranormal” aspects of tulpas, poltergeists, placebos/nocebos, and similar concepts. History and studies dictates that these are within the realm of possibility, if not having already been established.
 
For additional reading into these subjects, please visit:
 

Tulpa Creation in Tibet
“Placebo” vs. “Nocebo”: The Good And The Bad
What Is a Poltergeist?

Then, in a somewhat similar vein as poltergeists, there are cases where a person’s energetic force, if that’s what it is, causes disturbances to electrical objects.

Are You A Slider? The Phenomena of High Energy People Causing Electronics to Go Haywire

I myself have had experiences with appliances going haywire during certain times in my life. I can’t attest that it’s due to my conscious/subconscious/unconscious state, or that it was even directly through me. But it is fascinating and questionable when certain objects respond to a specific person’s close proximity, compared to those of other people.

There is also the matter of vibrational frequencies. Some people experience vibrations during meditation, or even when having out of body experiences. Again, I have first hand accounts of this phenomena, not only from out of body experiences, but also from a vibrational test, of sorts. I fully believe that the more spiritually developed we are, the higher and stronger our vibrational frequencies get. Staying in a state of despair, depression, anger, fear, etc. will keep us in a lower state of frequencies.

Feeling Vibrations During Meditation: Here Is Why!

Now, with all that being said, why do I feel as if our beliefs/thoughts play a significant role in the life that we’re in?

Well, I’m going to go back to one of the most widely known manuscripts/books in history. To the Bible.

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 He was in the beginning with God.
3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.
4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.
5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not [overcome] comprehend it.
John 1:1-5

What are words, spoken aloud? It’s sound. What is sound? It’s a vibrational frequency.

“A sound is a form of energy, just like electricity, heat or light. Sound is one of the important senses of the human body. Some sounds are pleasant, and some are annoying. We are subjected to various types of sound all time. Sound waves are the result of the vibration of objects.”What is Sound? – Characteristics of Sound Waves, Propagation Of Sound

“The Word of God” could then be re-written to state “The Vibration of God”. There are also scientific studies into “light” and its definition being of an energetic wavelength – similar to that of sound.

Now, getting back to the Bible, I want to focus on the belief/faith aspect of its teachings.

But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith which we preach):
9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:8-9

The above passage combines both vibrational sound frequencies (speak aloud your faith) with the belief (conscious thoughts) of one’s heart in Jesus Christ.

One has to wonder, why is “belief/faith” such an integral part of the biblical/Godly narrative? If our own belief constructs can make us sick through “nocebos”, or well with “placebos”, just by believing in the concept of side effects or cures, then what would a belief in a divine presence accomplish?

Likewise, if one wants to entertain the opposite side of the fence, what would a deeply held belief in demons, ghosts, negative entities, accomplish? There are many who practice witchcraft, sorcery, satanic rituals, paganism, etc. who have alleged to experience supernatural events. The same can be said of some followers of Jesus and of different religions, but seeing the current situation we have today, one has to wonder if there is a deliberate concerted effort to endorse other religions and practices while simultaneously denouncing Christianity/Jesus Christ for a specific reason.

If there are fewer and fewer people who believe in Jesus Christ, while I, personally, think that each person will have their own independent time of atonement, the whole world will either experience chaos (similar to the situation we find ourselves in right now), or depending on if more and more people choose to believe in Jesus, the world will slowly wake up out of this “worldly/materialistic” system and focus instead on the light/vibration of Truth and Love.

I have researched this for a very long time. While I may not have necessarily put my knowledge into practice until recent years, this information has been one that all roads lead to. And I want to make something completely clear. While there are many who do not believe in Jesus and instead are agnostic, or polytheistic, completely atheist, etc. – here is what I understand – [this is my opinion only based on the research and experiences that I’ve had]:

Jesus IS Love. He is the personification of Love.

I realize there are debates about this concept and that there are instances where Jesus expresses his outrage (fig tree/money changers) and while I’m not going to pretend to understand completely the motivations behind it, I will say that Love is not without its reprimands. I love my son whole-heartedly, but that doesn’t mean I won’t scold him or punish him if he does something out of line. I can’t explain Jesus’ outrage at a fig tree, but it’s not my place to judge.

So what does this all have to do with our beliefs/thoughts/energy/etc.? Well, Love in itself is an energy – emotional/vibrational energy. And if Jesus is Love, then it is akin to saying if we believe in Jesus, we believe in Love. We can also turn it around and say that if we believe in Love (pure, divinely-inspired Love – not the twisted “love” that some people try and justify their actions with), then we believe in Jesus Christ – even if we don’t realize it.

One last passage from the Bible that I want to make mention of (in which there are many centering around this topic) is the pure belief in what Jesus Christ can do.

In Mark 5, Jesus can be seen casting out a Legion of demons from a possessed man. There are a few key takeaways that I want to address.

1.) Even the demons that were being cast out believed in Jesus Christ and His power.

2.) A woman later comes up to Jesus, and just from her belief in Him alone, gets cured from a long-suffering ailment:

25 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.
26 She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.
27 When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak,
28 because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”
29 Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. 30 At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” 31 “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ” 32 But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.
33 Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.
34 He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
Mark 5:25-34

3. The verse: “At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him.” is very telling. This ‘power’ isn’t spoken of in a metaphorical way. It is quite literal. And it indicates that it’s this power that healed the lady. But it’s only because she believed. The question then becomes, what would have happened if she didn’t believe? Would nothing have happened to her? Would the power have remained in Jesus Christ and not been able to go into the unbeliever? Would it have been her own mental blockade preventing Jesus Christ from curing her?

One could also turn this around and ask if it would have mattered if it’s Jesus’ belief that He can cure anyone; surely He could even if they don’t believe. So why does it seem to be a requirement that they believe, first?

In a somewhat similar topic, there are many who have had a near death experience who come back allegedly from the ‘other side’ with the full belief that they are cured from their sickness/accident – even if the doctor doesn’t believe them – and true to their belief and/or after their experience, they are somehow miraculously cured:

Near-Death Experience Reveals Secret to Rapid Healing
Miraculous NDE Healings

So to end on that, what is my purpose for creating this article? We should be aware, yes, of the unsavory events going on in the world – and take action to help our fellow human beings make the right decisions regarding them – but we also should not let the negativity of these events become our focal point and drag us into a state of despair.

Many times I have thought about simply giving up and letting humanity do what it will in regards to the state of the world. Those who are awake, are awake, although they have the choice to go back to sleep – those who are not awake, have the option to wake or forever remain asleep. Perhaps attempts at waking those who are still asleep are going against the frame of free will. Perhaps there is a time and place for everyone and eventually everyone WILL wake up, whether in this life time or the next.

But that divine spark that is within all of us is what I cling to, and what I would like to do is at least plant the seed that there is something much more to life than we can ever imagine; and if our thoughts are indeed creating the world around us, then it would benefit us to focus more on the positive, loving aspects of humankind, the kindness and compassion we have, rather than the darker counterpart. And just as importantly, remember who we are, what we are, and what we’re capable of.

Thank you for reading, I love you all. God bless.

Fact checking is extremely important. I want to reiterate not to take everything at face value; no matter what you read, where you read it from, or who you hear it from. And to be clear, do not rely on “fact checking” websites to give you accurate information either. These are just as likely, (if not even more likely…), to feed false information and false debunking accounts to manipulate the reader. Please take everything into consideration before adhering to a certain narrative – and always keep your mind open to other possibilities.

Fair use disclaimer: Some of the links from this article are provided from different sources/sites to give the reader extra information and cite the sources, but does not necessarily mean that I endorse the contents of the site itself. Additionally, I have tried to provide links to the contents that I used from other sites as an educational and/or entertainment means only; if you feel that any information deserves further citation or request to be clarified, please let me know through the contact page.

Featured image by 4144132 from Pixabay

Crystal Clear Learning

Demoralization: What Happens When We Feel Like Giving Up - Sometimes the world seems so dark - it almost feels hopeless...
You Are Much More Than You Realize | But You Need to Believe It - What do you believe in? Do you REALLY believe it?
The Other Virus: Learned Helplessness - Compliance leading to our downfall.
Why I Believe, What I Believe - Personal Experiences.
Is God calling out to you? | If not, are you SURE? - And if so, are you heeding His call?
Is Unconditional Love Enabling “Wrong” Behavior? - Can we be loving, yet judge at the same time?

Confronting My Sanity, My Religion, and My Innocence

(or rather, the loss of all 3)

If you had asked me 10 years ago, ‘where would you be in 10 years’, I never would have thought it’d involve me developing a website dedicated to exposing corruption and preaching about Love and Forgiveness, and speaking about Jesus Christ.

I was off in my own blissful bubble; appreciating the life around me, raising my child, enjoying my job, delving into my hobbies – not a care in the world.

I was happy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still appreciate my life. I feel happiness during certain times. I enjoy those little moments that we shouldn’t take advantage of but some do anyway.

But there is a stark difference between how I used to fall asleep at night – with what used to be a peaceful slight small smile on my lips, to praying every single night for Jesus Christ to return, sometimes crying myself to sleep.

Recently I’ve had to confront the fact that my life is not the way it used to be before. Not just from a normal part of aging, or growing up, or experience… but from the realization that everything I once thought was real/true, may not be true after all. And the fact that my eyes have been opened into seeing all of the atrocities going on in the world, and it has forced me to come to terms that I need to question everything – even things that were so deeply ingrained in me, but now I realize that it may be at the heart of the matter after all.

Questioning my sanity

As I go deep into some of these rabbit holes – CIA’s Operation Mockingbird, the vaccine/pharma agenda, religion vs. atheism vs. spirituality, freemasons/illuminati, Bilderberg group, the Holocaust, the “great reset”, nwo, etc., etc., etc., it’s made me address the very real possibility that most of what I “KNOW”, is merely all lies and falsehoods.

With a governmental agenda to literally get all Americans to believe that everything is a lie, how do we know, FOR SURE, what is real and what is propagandized?

Whether it’s due to hyper-paranoidism, or perhaps just a better understanding now of how “the world” works, I have come to the point where I actually don’t know what to believe anymore, and I doubt that most of what we are taught through history, in schools, etc. is true. I have come to the point where I honestly think that most of our lives is built on lies – ESPECIALLY when it comes to the government, religion, economics, wars, education…

As I have dug deeper into several institutions and what I DO believe is our actual history, there is only one thing really that connects everything.

And that’s our origins, our beginnings, our belief systems, religion, spirituality, the idea of a God or several gods. This is, as it seems, the core of all of our struggles today.

We may not realize it. In fact, I think billions of people DON’T realize it. They are still in the blissful, and/or unacknowledged matrix that I found myself in 10 years ago. They may know, instinctively, that something is wrong. But they can’t put their finger on it and they dismiss this feeling as an uncomfortable sensation that is better to just tune out than to confront it.

But due to certain circumstances that was actually out of my control, I ended up choosing to confront this uncomfortable awareness. Or rather, I was FORCED to do it.

Thus it led me on a downward spiral that revealed what may be the truth of the matter after all. And as such, my mind has a hard time comprehending it all and sometimes I even question myself on what if everything I’m researching is false. What if my own thoughts is false and I’m feeding into the misinformation campaign? I have actually been GASLIGHTING myself that what I am now coming to believe may not be true after all.

I think it’s an attempt at trying to rationalize all of this information away. What if I’M the one being misled and the world isn’t the way I have come to understand it? But I know that this is just a cop-out and a way of trying to lead me back “into the world”.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the source of our problems.

Losing (changing?) my religion…

“18 If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”John 15:18-19

This verse seems to be the core of what’s going on in the world. “The world” in this context, I believe, is referring to the worldly system set up – not the world as in the planet Earth. It is the whole societal structure that has been set up in an attempt to keep us all in line, and chasing the all-mighty dollar.

It involves the educational institutions, the medical/health industries, politics, economics, financial institutions, trade, stock market… and yes, most of all, RELIGION.

To understand this in better context, you HAVE to come to terms with the idea that there are, indeed, secret societies that exist. Once you can understand this concept, this notion not only becomes believable, but it practically leads all roads down this path and everything starts making sense.

I have touched upon this subject before, but imagine our beginnings, our ancestors, our ACTUAL history. Where did we come from? Imagine if there was a group of people that retained their knowledge of our actual heritage… And what if some of these very same people described in these texts, are still deadset in their ways – and refuse to acknowledge The One, True, Supreme Creator? What if, they are exactly what the Bible describes as those “of the world”?

“23 And He said to them, “You are from beneath; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world. 24 Therefore I said to you that you will die in your sins; for if you do not believe that I am He, you will die in your sins.”John 8:23-24

“43 Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word. 44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it. 45 But because I tell the truth, you do not believe Me. 46 Which of you convicts Me of sin? And if I tell the truth, why do you not believe Me? 47 He who is of God hears God’s words; therefore you do not hear, because you are not of God.” – John 8:43-47

Now, this is where things get tricky. I usually say something like the following, “I am not religious. But I am spiritual.”

And it’s been something that I’ve actually come to terms with that I don’t belong to one set religion. And that the battle we’re facing is a spiritual warfare. I still hold to that mindset. I also subscribe to the belief that the things of the material world are meant to lead us astray. The “world” that we should be following is Jesus Christ and the teachings of Love and Forgiveness; a divine/holy way of living. Not of things “of the world”. And that includes this whole societal construct most of us are living in right now.

And during my studies through Genesis, couldn’t help but notice the focus that the Lord is making towards wealth, land, nations, kingdoms, etc. …In my view of God, this does not fit. Now, I don’t want to be presumptuous and say that I know who/what God is, but in my heart, I feel as if the God that I am familiar with would not care about material wealth/possessions. It has rather been hard for me to get through this doctrine. So after doing some more research on this matter, came across a group known as the Cathars.

“Of themselves they say: “We are the poor of Christ, who have no fixed abode and flee from city to city like sheep amidst wolves, are persecuted as were the apostles and the martyrs, despite the fact that we lead a most strict and holy life, persevering day and night in fasts and abstinence, in prayers, and in labour from which we seek only the necessities of life. We undergo this because we are not of this world. But you, lovers of the world, have peace with it because you are of the world. False apostles, who pollute the word of Christ, who seek after their own interest, have led you and your fathers astray from the true path. We and our fathers, of apostolic descent, have continued in the Grace of God and shall so remain to the end of time. To distinguish between us and you Christ said “By their fruits you shall know them”. Our fruits consist in following the footsteps of Christ.”

– Source: Cathars and Cathar Beliefs in the Languedoc | Cathar Beliefs

“Cathar theology was essentially Gnostic in nature. They believed that there were two “gods”—one malevolent and one good. The former was in charge of all visible and material things and was held responsible for all the atrocities in the Old Testament. The benevolent god, on the other hand, was the one the Cathars worshipped and was responsible for the message of Jesus. Accordingly, they made every effort to follow the teachings of Jesus as closely as possible.”

– Source: Cathars & Albigenses: What Was Catharism?

This is fascinating to me. While I was researching Genesis, the incredible focus on land, wealth, material possessions, the aroma of burnt offerings pleasing the Lord… just did not resonate with me. I entertained the idea, “What if the God of the Old Testament is different than the God of the New Testament?” I know this is seen as highly blasphemous by a lot of those following Christianity, and again, I am not Christian, per se, but I do whole-heartedly believe in and love Jesus Christ.

So seeing a group known as the Cathars – who were “all” wiped out, incidently – referring to the Old Testament as having a God different than that of the New Testament, blew my mind. And that their stance about the material world being one of evil inclinations and temptations, and the way to divinity is to live in pure, kind compassion with each other and nature – COMPLETELY resonated with me.

Am I a Cathar and am just now learning about it?

Even more interesting, is coming across a prophecy that the very last Cathar made before he was burned alive (since all the Cathars were considered heretics – albeit, to cover up a different reason why they were genocided…)

“In 700 years, when the laurel grows green again” – Guilhem de Belibaste

Historical documentations point to Guilhem de Belibaste being burned allegedy on August 21, 1321 – although that specific date has been debated. But 1321 has been widely accepted and not contested. So if this date is correct, then of course the prophecy points to the year 2021 as being “when the laurel grows green again”.

But what does that mean, exactly? Again, that is up for debate. And no one really knows if this prophecy will come true as it is, and even if it does, what it will entail. So perhaps it is an obscure statement that could apply to a wide variety of possibilities, and it may not even be noticeable at the moment. But if it means what many people think it does, then it would seem a worldwide revival of the Cathar belief system, whether they consciously realize it or not, may be in effect.

Once you lose your innocence, you can’t get it back.

(Or can you?)

When I went down the rabbit hole and started questioning my own sanity and my religion, I realized something that really struck me at what was wrong with how I intrinsically felt inside.

It was the dawning awareness that my naivete, my innocence, my open-eyed wonder of the world, had come to an abrupt halt, and I was now looking at the grim reality around me. The reality that the world that most people strive to be a part of, one that I used to want to be a part of, is one full of traps, pitfalls, wicked deeds that are now being passed off as “good”, and a systematic powerhouse of leading us away from our true purpose.

Once my eyes opened to all of this deception, the lies, the fraud – most of it pointing to a huge spiritual upset – the sorrow that I felt since I knew that my life would never be the same and I would never get back that child-like innocence, swallowed me and left me feeling alone and desolate, and a yearning for the ways that it used to be.

But then, after struggling with this inner turmoil, I came to the resolution that I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now, at least, I am awakening to the horrible atrocities that are committed just to keep the rest of us in the dark. I can step off of this worldly platform and fully dedicate myself to Jesus Christ and His teachings, knowing that I’m doing the right thing. Perhaps this is what must be done in order to raise people’s awareness and spread the message that the spiritual warfare is real, and goes deeper and darker than we think.

Maybe by putting aside this naive gullibility and innocent outlook towards the world, thinking that all of these material enhancements are for our benefit, we can shift our focus onto nature and our true roots – our soul and connection to the Creator.

Although I lost my innocence as a blissfully unaware human, just living my life as best as I can, I have gained an understanding and desire to strive for the Truth, and step out of this harmful paradigm of perpetuating division and materialistic pursuits.

I have asked myself, even though my innocence has been shattered, is there a way I can piece it back together? Not by ignoring all of the situations around us, but by slowly picking up all of these pieces and acknowledging that I can still enjoy the small things in life? The soothing sound of rain falling… A genuine smile from a loved one or stranger… A sweet video of a random act of kindness – or especially initiating the act of kindness ourself…

Maybe I’ve lost my sanity 😛 , maybe even changed my “religion” (although I’m not sure about that yet), and lost my innocence, but I do still have hope and the belief that things will work out in the end anyway. My motto, besides “Love and Forgive”, is “Jesus wins”. So no matter how much darkness seems to surround us, I have faith that “the world” will come to terms to its reality eventually and get back on the right track.

With that being said, my life may not be the same as it was before. And I may miss it at times, but to me, this just means that I’m heading in the right direction.

“20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” – Ephesians 4:20-24

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