Demoralization: What Happens When We Feel Like Giving Up

Sometimes the world seems so dark – it almost feels hopeless…

I don’t write opinionated reflections a lot. Most of the time I try to give readers real videos, transcripts, documents about what was said by either those in charge of certain projects, or whistleblowers exposing plans, or testimonies from others who describe their experience that people need to be aware about.

While I do have my opinions and share them throughout my posts, I very rarely spend a whole post describing my emotions as I go through them.

However, admittedly, the disheartening news all around us can sometimes be overwhelming and the future extremely bleak, which casts a dark shadow of pointlessness to even pursuing these subjects any longer. Sometimes, knowing all of the atrocities going on around us, it’s easy to get lost amid a sea of hopelessness.

We see those responsible for heinous crimes constantly getting away with it, and not only that, celebrating vacations, weddings, and get-togethers with their cohorts and their ilk; while the rest of us remain under the oppressive regime of mandates, vaccine/mask narratives, and constant scrutiny if we show the littlest bit of hesitancy towards these agendas.

Seeing the people who should be behind bars living it up and able to travel freely on their private yachts and/or jets, while those simply trying to make an honest living are left either quitting their jobs/careers to refuse the vaccine mandate, or getting fired for refusing to comply – or they cave into the demands of the system and get the vaccine unwillingly to keep their job or just so that they can travel – which has ultimately sadly led to many unnecessary and tragic adverse events.

Seeing pictures of the “elite” group gathering around in large festivities and celebrations/meetings without any social distancing or masks to speak of, while the workers and camera crew catering to them are wearing masks. Clearly indicating that the “elites” are not worried about contracting ANYTHING, much less COVID, but yet they demand that the useless eaterstheir slaves… their employees wear a mask around them.

Seeing countless videos of politicians, celebrities, diplomatic leaders faking a vaccine, while encouraging, bribing and/or berating others to get it. Calling those who refuse to get it a “selfish fool” who doesn’t care about grandma.

Watching as hundreds and thousands of doctors, nurses, healthcare workers, scientists, etc. speak up against the vaccine – yet people are still refusing to listen to them, and instead continue to listen to the mainstream media and government funded doctors – like Anthony Fauci.

Seeing doctors and heads of the vaccine group (NIH, CDC, FDA, Pfizer, etc.) continuously lie to the public about the vaccine’s efficacy, or lack thereof, and the completely inane push to administer even more of the vaccine that didn’t work the first, second or third time around.

Learning about the terrible situation involving the suppression of Ivermectin – meanwhile hundreds of those in Congress are allegedly secretly getting treated with this medication – while those in charge of the coronavirus task force prevent its use in pharmacies worldwide and hospitals refuse to treat patients with it, at the same time the MSM continues to ridicule the concept by labeling it a “horsepaste”…

All of this outrageous deception and manipulation and utter clown show – within the span of less than 2 years – because a large group of people still can’t wake up to the obvious lies and endless dictatorship that’s edging ever closer to becoming a normality because people would rather continue to believe the lie and a modicum of comfort, compared to opening their eyes and seeing the huge, dystopian overhaul that tptsb have planned for us.

All of it is not only discouraging, it’s also downright depressing.

So sometimes I find myself sitting down in exhaustion, hard to find myself even moving because that would mean the reality around us is still in full effect, so by choosing to not move perhaps I can take myself out of this reality for a little bit and just exist without participating in the world that I have grown increasingly more disappointed in.

I just sit there, contemplating life, or even not thinking at all – wondering how no matter how much proof is around us, some people will still refuse to see it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, it’s that people will refuse to connect the dots and insist that it’s just happenstance, a coincidence, nothing to be alarmed about, and so on and so forth. Their refusal to believe it doesn’t mean that it’s a ridiculous concept, but it’s more that they can’t handle it if they were to find out what the world is REALLY about, because it would mean their whole lives (all of ours) is one giant lie built on a foundation of horror and wickedness.

Or, they simply don’t care. They are so comfortable in the system, that to question it would upset their whole way of life and they rather enjoy living under governmental rule, because it allows someone else to think for them. They are indoctrinated into the system so badly that anyone resisting this type of regime is automatically seen as the “bad guy”. The plot to The Matrix playing out in real time.

So once in a while, I catch myself in utter despair, not wanting to continue on in my attempts at waking others up. They will either see the truth for what it is, or they will continue to ignore the “world” for what it really is. The Lord will call on those He chooses, while those who remain in the dark may forever be lost.

But then I remember how God did indeed call me out of this world. He led me to Him, because I was not the most pristine of followers – or a follower at all, at that point. I was a lost soul like so many others. I did not pray. I did not go to church. I did not read the Bible. As a matter of fact, I shunned the Bible. So to say that He literally called me out of this world would not be an exaggeration.

And who was there when I was questioning what was happening to me? When I went to search for an answer as to what these signs and synchronicities were, how did I finally find my answer that I wasn’t just a crazy person who heard God’s voice – but actually heard Him and He’s the one we are supposed to seek if we want to find Truth?

I found this out by other people, on their own journey, and reading/listening about their own testimonies, and their walk that brought them to the same conclusion. Even though they were at risk of ridicule, scorn, derision, etc., they still came forth to share their experiences on how they got called out of this world – perhaps on their own quest to also wake up others and help them when they choose to seek these answers out for themselves.

And so I am utterly grateful for these people who went against the grain and spoke up to help others who are on their own individual journey – those who may be slowly waking up out of this stupor created solely to keep us from seeking our true purpose – and it reminds me that even if people do not wake up NOW, then the trajectory that we are heading – with God at the helm, will indeed slowly but surely reach out to others, waking them up in their own time, until every single one of us experiences a conscious awakening – and we collectively realize who we really are and take the necessary steps to ensure a future of peace and happiness, instead of the chaos and panic that the “global elites” are trying to dictate upon the world.

I remind myself that I was as lost as many others not so long ago – and I wonder at how those who were already awake at the time felt about people like me. Perhaps growing frustrated that while they could see the evil overtaking the world, people like me at the time were still blissfully unaware in our own little bubble – happily going on about our own lives without a care in the world. Enjoying movies, hanging out with friends, gossiping, going to work, etc., etc., etc. Fully asleep, fully ignorant to the wickedness growing increasingly more brazen as time rolls on.

Perhaps this is part of the “plan”. As the depravity grows, those who are even deep asleep have no choice but to wake up, otherwise they are knowingly participating in the corruption and immorality that has been surrounding us and deceptively trying to get the population to be an active part of. Trying to normalize mandatory drugs/vaccines, transgenderism, transhumanism, pedophilia, critical race theory, satanism, abortions, genetically modifying everything – including humans, reverse aging by transfusing “young blood”, etc., etc., etc…

There is no doubt in my mind that evil has a stranglehold in the world. And time is running out for people to wake up. Perhaps this is why I sometimes have fear strike in my heart – seeing the amount of godlessness pervading practically every aspect of our society – but then I remember that God IS ultimately in control, and I remember my faith, and I remember how lost and clueless I was before waking up to this depravity, and I remember all of the people who have helped me along the way to make sense of our reality and who were awake for years and years and years before I was.

And all I can say is, thank GOD for them.

So when I feel like giving up, and find myself asking, “What’s the point?”, I remember God and all those who were awake long before I was, who had the patience and endurance to continue on, planting the seeds and graciously helping others who haven’t quite woken up out of the matrix yet. While they may have had similar feelings of hopelessness at points, their love for God and for humanity kept them going. I remember Jesus Christ, who literally spread the gospel of love and forgiveness, even up to the point of his persecution and death, by the very same people He was trying to save.

And so knowing all of this, there’s no way I can give up. While despair sometimes strikes, I am reminded of the many good people in the world, working hard to wake others and/or planting the seed for those who were lost but are now seeking the right path. I am reminded of my own shortcomings and my own dismissal of certain “conspiracy theories”, that after an honest look at it objectively, found myself to be completely in the wrong.

I take heart knowing that just because someone is lost now, that doesn’t mean that they aren’t on their own journey into waking up; and I take heart knowing that there are brave and caring souls speaking up on others behalf, helping to spread awareness to reach others.

And I am thankful for all of my readers, whether they have stumbled across here by accident, or are actively seeking the truth as well. You are a blessing, whether you realize it or not. We are all in this together, and try as the corrupt establishment might to demoralize us, I have faith in God and humanity’s will to persevere.

I love you all. God bless.

Confronting My Sanity, My Religion, and My Innocence

(or rather, the loss of all 3)

If you had asked me 10 years ago, ‘where would you be in 10 years’, I never would have thought it’d involve me developing a website dedicated to exposing corruption and preaching about Love and Forgiveness, and speaking about Jesus Christ.

I was off in my own blissful bubble; appreciating the life around me, raising my child, enjoying my job, delving into my hobbies – not a care in the world.

I was happy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still appreciate my life. I feel happiness during certain times. I enjoy those little moments that we shouldn’t take advantage of but some do anyway.

But there is a stark difference between how I used to fall asleep at night – with what used to be a peaceful slight small smile on my lips, to praying every single night for Jesus Christ to return, sometimes crying myself to sleep.

Recently I’ve had to confront the fact that my life is not the way it used to be before. Not just from a normal part of aging, or growing up, or experience… but from the realization that everything I once thought was real/true, may not be true after all. And the fact that my eyes have been opened into seeing all of the atrocities going on in the world, and it has forced me to come to terms that I need to question everything – even things that were so deeply ingrained in me, but now I realize that it may be at the heart of the matter after all.

Questioning my sanity

As I go deep into some of these rabbit holes – CIA’s Operation Mockingbird, the vaccine/pharma agenda, religion vs. atheism vs. spirituality, freemasons/illuminati, Bilderberg group, the Holocaust, the “great reset”, nwo, etc., etc., etc., it’s made me address the very real possibility that most of what I “KNOW”, is merely all lies and falsehoods.

With a governmental agenda to literally get all Americans to believe that everything is a lie, how do we know, FOR SURE, what is real and what is propagandized?

Whether it’s due to hyper-paranoidism, or perhaps just a better understanding now of how “the world” works, I have come to the point where I actually don’t know what to believe anymore, and I doubt that most of what we are taught through history, in schools, etc. is true. I have come to the point where I honestly think that most of our lives is built on lies – ESPECIALLY when it comes to the government, religion, economics, wars, education…

As I have dug deeper into several institutions and what I DO believe is our actual history, there is only one thing really that connects everything.

And that’s our origins, our beginnings, our belief systems, religion, spirituality, the idea of a God or several gods. This is, as it seems, the core of all of our struggles today.

We may not realize it. In fact, I think billions of people DON’T realize it. They are still in the blissful, and/or unacknowledged matrix that I found myself in 10 years ago. They may know, instinctively, that something is wrong. But they can’t put their finger on it and they dismiss this feeling as an uncomfortable sensation that is better to just tune out than to confront it.

But due to certain circumstances that was actually out of my control, I ended up choosing to confront this uncomfortable awareness. Or rather, I was FORCED to do it.

Thus it led me on a downward spiral that revealed what may be the truth of the matter after all. And as such, my mind has a hard time comprehending it all and sometimes I even question myself on what if everything I’m researching is false. What if my own thoughts is false and I’m feeding into the misinformation campaign? I have actually been GASLIGHTING myself that what I am now coming to believe may not be true after all.

I think it’s an attempt at trying to rationalize all of this information away. What if I’M the one being misled and the world isn’t the way I have come to understand it? But I know that this is just a cop-out and a way of trying to lead me back “into the world”.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the source of our problems.

Losing (changing?) my religion…

“18 If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”John 15:18-19

This verse seems to be the core of what’s going on in the world. “The world” in this context, I believe, is referring to the worldly system set up – not the world as in the planet Earth. It is the whole societal structure that has been set up in an attempt to keep us all in line, and chasing the all-mighty dollar.

It involves the educational institutions, the medical/health industries, politics, economics, financial institutions, trade, stock market… and yes, most of all, RELIGION.

To understand this in better context, you HAVE to come to terms with the idea that there are, indeed, secret societies that exist. Once you can understand this concept, this notion not only becomes believable, but it practically leads all roads down this path and everything starts making sense.

I have touched upon this subject before, but imagine our beginnings, our ancestors, our ACTUAL history. Where did we come from? Imagine if there was a group of people that retained their knowledge of our actual heritage… And what if some of these very same people described in these texts, are still deadset in their ways – and refuse to acknowledge The One, True, Supreme Creator? What if, they are exactly what the Bible describes as those “of the world”?

“23 And He said to them, “You are from beneath; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world. 24 Therefore I said to you that you will die in your sins; for if you do not believe that I am He, you will die in your sins.”John 8:23-24

“43 Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word. 44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it. 45 But because I tell the truth, you do not believe Me. 46 Which of you convicts Me of sin? And if I tell the truth, why do you not believe Me? 47 He who is of God hears God’s words; therefore you do not hear, because you are not of God.” – John 8:43-47

Now, this is where things get tricky. I usually say something like the following, “I am not religious. But I am spiritual.”

And it’s been something that I’ve actually come to terms with that I don’t belong to one set religion. And that the battle we’re facing is a spiritual warfare. I still hold to that mindset. I also subscribe to the belief that the things of the material world are meant to lead us astray. The “world” that we should be following is Jesus Christ and the teachings of Love and Forgiveness; a divine/holy way of living. Not of things “of the world”. And that includes this whole societal construct most of us are living in right now.

And during my studies through Genesis, couldn’t help but notice the focus that the Lord is making towards wealth, land, nations, kingdoms, etc. …In my view of God, this does not fit. Now, I don’t want to be presumptuous and say that I know who/what God is, but in my heart, I feel as if the God that I am familiar with would not care about material wealth/possessions. It has rather been hard for me to get through this doctrine. So after doing some more research on this matter, came across a group known as the Cathars.

“Of themselves they say: “We are the poor of Christ, who have no fixed abode and flee from city to city like sheep amidst wolves, are persecuted as were the apostles and the martyrs, despite the fact that we lead a most strict and holy life, persevering day and night in fasts and abstinence, in prayers, and in labour from which we seek only the necessities of life. We undergo this because we are not of this world. But you, lovers of the world, have peace with it because you are of the world. False apostles, who pollute the word of Christ, who seek after their own interest, have led you and your fathers astray from the true path. We and our fathers, of apostolic descent, have continued in the Grace of God and shall so remain to the end of time. To distinguish between us and you Christ said “By their fruits you shall know them”. Our fruits consist in following the footsteps of Christ.”

– Source: Cathars and Cathar Beliefs in the Languedoc | Cathar Beliefs

“Cathar theology was essentially Gnostic in nature. They believed that there were two “gods”—one malevolent and one good. The former was in charge of all visible and material things and was held responsible for all the atrocities in the Old Testament. The benevolent god, on the other hand, was the one the Cathars worshipped and was responsible for the message of Jesus. Accordingly, they made every effort to follow the teachings of Jesus as closely as possible.”

– Source: Cathars & Albigenses: What Was Catharism?

This is fascinating to me. While I was researching Genesis, the incredible focus on land, wealth, material possessions, the aroma of burnt offerings pleasing the Lord… just did not resonate with me. I entertained the idea, “What if the God of the Old Testament is different than the God of the New Testament?” I know this is seen as highly blasphemous by a lot of those following Christianity, and again, I am not Christian, per se, but I do whole-heartedly believe in and love Jesus Christ.

So seeing a group known as the Cathars – who were “all” wiped out, incidently – referring to the Old Testament as having a God different than that of the New Testament, blew my mind. And that their stance about the material world being one of evil inclinations and temptations, and the way to divinity is to live in pure, kind compassion with each other and nature – COMPLETELY resonated with me.

Am I a Cathar and am just now learning about it?

Even more interesting, is coming across a prophecy that the very last Cathar made before he was burned alive (since all the Cathars were considered heretics – albeit, to cover up a different reason why they were genocided…)

“In 700 years, when the laurel grows green again” – Guilhem de Belibaste

Historical documentations point to Guilhem de Belibaste being burned allegedy on August 21, 1321 – although that specific date has been debated. But 1321 has been widely accepted and not contested. So if this date is correct, then of course the prophecy points to the year 2021 as being “when the laurel grows green again”.

But what does that mean, exactly? Again, that is up for debate. And no one really knows if this prophecy will come true as it is, and even if it does, what it will entail. So perhaps it is an obscure statement that could apply to a wide variety of possibilities, and it may not even be noticeable at the moment. But if it means what many people think it does, then it would seem a worldwide revival of the Cathar belief system, whether they consciously realize it or not, may be in effect.

Once you lose your innocence, you can’t get it back.

(Or can you?)

When I went down the rabbit hole and started questioning my own sanity and my religion, I realized something that really struck me at what was wrong with how I intrinsically felt inside.

It was the dawning awareness that my naivete, my innocence, my open-eyed wonder of the world, had come to an abrupt halt, and I was now looking at the grim reality around me. The reality that the world that most people strive to be a part of, one that I used to want to be a part of, is one full of traps, pitfalls, wicked deeds that are now being passed off as “good”, and a systematic powerhouse of leading us away from our true purpose.

Once my eyes opened to all of this deception, the lies, the fraud – most of it pointing to a huge spiritual upset – the sorrow that I felt since I knew that my life would never be the same and I would never get back that child-like innocence, swallowed me and left me feeling alone and desolate, and a yearning for the ways that it used to be.

But then, after struggling with this inner turmoil, I came to the resolution that I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now, at least, I am awakening to the horrible atrocities that are committed just to keep the rest of us in the dark. I can step off of this worldly platform and fully dedicate myself to Jesus Christ and His teachings, knowing that I’m doing the right thing. Perhaps this is what must be done in order to raise people’s awareness and spread the message that the spiritual warfare is real, and goes deeper and darker than we think.

Maybe by putting aside this naive gullibility and innocent outlook towards the world, thinking that all of these material enhancements are for our benefit, we can shift our focus onto nature and our true roots – our soul and connection to the Creator.

Although I lost my innocence as a blissfully unaware human, just living my life as best as I can, I have gained an understanding and desire to strive for the Truth, and step out of this harmful paradigm of perpetuating division and materialistic pursuits.

I have asked myself, even though my innocence has been shattered, is there a way I can piece it back together? Not by ignoring all of the situations around us, but by slowly picking up all of these pieces and acknowledging that I can still enjoy the small things in life? The soothing sound of rain falling… A genuine smile from a loved one or stranger… A sweet video of a random act of kindness – or especially initiating the act of kindness ourself…

Maybe I’ve lost my sanity 😛 , maybe even changed my “religion” (although I’m not sure about that yet), and lost my innocence, but I do still have hope and the belief that things will work out in the end anyway. My motto, besides “Love and Forgive”, is “Jesus wins”. So no matter how much darkness seems to surround us, I have faith that “the world” will come to terms to its reality eventually and get back on the right track.

With that being said, my life may not be the same as it was before. And I may miss it at times, but to me, this just means that I’m heading in the right direction.

“20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” – Ephesians 4:20-24

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